


Kiyoko is a Crow

by FrazzledDragon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: BAMF Kiyoko Shimizu, Baking, Bullying, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Kiyoko is Supportive, Kiyoko makes them feel safe, Kiyoko protects her boys, M/M, Protective Karasuno Volleyball Club, Team Bonding, Team Dynamics, Team Fluff, The tags make this seem much much darker than it is, high schoolers can be really mean and stupid and Kiyoko will Not Stand for it, lots of nameless ocs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24356170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrazzledDragon/pseuds/FrazzledDragon
Summary: 1. Kiyoko is a badass and a crow, just like the rest of the team.2. Everyone on the Karasuno volleyball team is gay. No exceptions.3. Kiyoko is just as integral to the team's history as any of the boys.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi & Sawamura Daichi & Shimizu Kiyoko & Sugawara Koushi, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Shimizu Kiyoko & Karasuno Volleyball Club
Comments: 69
Kudos: 183





	1. daichi

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea how much of this there will be, but i'm trying to write a chapter for every member of the canon team
> 
> i'm just a mess who wants people to drink their Respect Kiyoko Juice

There's a multitude of advantages to being the boys' volleyball club manager. These boys are her friends, her responsibility, of course, and they certainly cause her enough trouble, but they also look out for her. From Tanaka and Nishinoya ensuring no male ever approaches her (it's annoying sometimes but also sweet and she likes not having strangers approach her) to Hinata doing his best to intimidate guys much taller and stronger than he is to keep her safe.

It's interesting too, because people assume she does what she does for the view. She cannot express the number of times she's had to tell other girls, and guys too, that as much as she likes the guys on the team, she's never been interested in a relationship with any of them. Yes, Daichi has thighs worthy of a museum and Suga's skin is like porcelain and have you  _ seen _ Asahi's abs (she's gay not  _ blind _ ) but that's not why she's there.

Kiyoko is shy and timid, especially compared to boys like Hinata, Tanaka, and Noya, but people seem to forget that she's a crow too. Maybe she's not loud and doesn't pick fights, but she's every bit as much a part of the Karasuno volleyball team as any of the boys.

And crows look out for their own.

It’s a regular school day when it first happens. She’s only a first year, and has only been the manager for a few weeks, when she hears someone mention the volleyball club.

“That one guy on the team? I think he’s a first year... Sawamura? He’s like… hot, but I’d never want to date him,” one girl says, “He’s too obsessed with volleyball! He’d probably forget I wasn’t a ball and try to hit me.”

A couple of the other girls nearby hum their agreement and Kiyoko’s blood boils. It only gets worse as another girl says, “Yeah, I bet all the guys on the volleyball team are brutes. They devote all their time to a dumb club, and they aren’t even any good! They’d totally forget they even have girlfriends, no matter how hot you were.”

Of course, Kiyoko knows that if any of these girls had actually  _ spoken _ to any of the boys in the club, they’d learn pretty quickly nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, they were big and strong and some of them were scarier looking than others, but at their cores they were  _ teenage boys _ . Sweet, a little dense, who just wanted to be liked and appreciated.

And despite her shy, non-confrontational nature, she cannot let these random strangers say such hurtful, horrible things about her friends. It’s one thing to express an opinion and say you wouldn’t want to date a guy, another to tell people you think he’d abuse his partner. So she opens her mouth. “On the contrary,” she says, garnering attention immediately. She hardly ever talks, much less in front of people she doesn’t know, but this is important. “Sawamura would make an excellent boyfriend. He’s gentle and kind and is always thinking of ways to build people up. He’s devoted to volleyball, but only because it pushes him to be his best self, but never forgets about his friends. He’d  _ never _ hit his significant other,  _ especially  _ not to hurt them.”

The girls are gaping, either because she’s talking, or because of what she’s saying, but Kiyoko continues nonetheless. “You shouldn’t spread harmful rumors like that. Especially about people you’ve clearly never met. It makes you sound cruel and arrogant, and can hurt people’s feelings. Sawamura would be crushed to know that there are people here who genuinely think so terribly of him. The whole team is made up of good guys who would never abuse another person. Just because their passions aren’t the same as yours doesn’t make them less important or invalid.”

And with that, Kiyoko walks away.


	2. sugawara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugawara's turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope ya like!!!

It’s a couple months later when Kiyoko’s stomach drops.

There’s a couple boys from the basketball team, tall and lanky, cornering Sugawara. She can’t hear everything they’re whispering, but she hears enough slurs to get the gist. Rage cumulates in her chest like someone set her on fire, and she’s placed herself between Sugawara and these boys before she blinks.

One of them recovers faster than the others, trying to get handsy with her, saying she’s just in time to “fix” Sugawara permanently. If she wasn’t pissed before, she’s certainly pissed off now, and it’s with a firm certainty that she says, “If you’re insecure and scared, talk to a counselor. If you’re tired of feeling weak and confused by your hormones, talk to a counselor. If you’re attracted to guys, own up to it. Don’t bully people. Don’t harass people. Don’t hurt people. If you’re so big and important that you feel you have a right to hurt others, talk to a counselor. If you feel other peoples’ sexualities or romantic attractions are your business, talk to a counselor. There are other ways to feel strong and powerful and righteous than hurting innocent people. There are better ways to deal with your problems than causing problems for someone else. It’s depressing that you need someone else to tell you this.”

The three boys, whose jaws are on the floor, are frozen in place. Kiyoko, recognizing Suga’s trembling and the shaky breath snaking out of his lips, gently intertwines her arm with his, leading him away. She finds a quiet corner, making sure they weren’t followed, before turning to him. 

Suga’s eyes are on her, and he’s shaking so bad she’s worried he might collapse. Carefully, she helps him sit down. “Did they hurt you?” She asks quietly.

He shakes his head. “They were just… whispering in my ears and tugging on my clothes. They… They hadn’t done anything yet.”

She nods her understanding. “If they talk to you again, tell someone, okay? Me, or Daichi, or Asahi - anyone, okay? You need to be safe at school.”

“I’m gay,” he whispers, and Kiyoko’s eyes widen. “I… I don’t deserve to be safe.”

She hasn’t told anyone, not a single living soul, but it’s the truth when she says, “So am I. Don’t I deserve to be safe?” It’s a trap, because she  _ knows _ Sugawara would never look her in the eyes and tell her she deserves anything less than happiness.

The shock rings clear and true on his features, but he frowns as he nods. “Yeah… Of course.”

“Then so do you, understand? Gay or not, you deserve to be safe, and loved, and cherished. Your sexual orientation does not, nor will it ever, take away your given right to happiness.”

Tears well in his eyes and he weakly nods. “Okay.”

She gives him a careful hug. “Don’t be afraid to talk to me, okay? You’re my friend. You don’t deserve to be bullied, not even for a moment. If those bullies even look at you, or your thoughts get dark, tell me. I’ll have the whole team protecting you in an instant.”

He chuckles, watery eyes big and wholly focused on her. “Thanks, Kiyoko… You’re the best.”

“Us gays have to stick together, right?” She grins, winking, and he nods.


	3. asahi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asahi's next :)

Asahi’s almost as nervous around people as she is, which means it’s incredibly easy for him to get overwhelmed or scared. She wasn’t anticipating the school dance to be so scary for him, but it makes sense.

He’s in the corner, by himself, shaking. Finals for their first year of high school are right around the corner, and this dance is supposed to be relaxing, a reward. She takes one look at him and can tell it’s far from it.

She wanders over to him, subtle and non-threatening. “What’s wrong?” She asks over the music, knowing no one else can hear their conversation. It’s funny, the inherent privacy in a thriving crowd.

Asahi just shakes his head. She doesn’t give up there though.

“Someone ask you to dance?”

He shakes his head again. “A girl told me I’m too scary to dance with. Someone will call the police.” He wraps his arms tighter around his middle.

Kiyoko knows that’s ridiculous - no one would call, and even if they did, what would the police have? An obviously very anxious, harmless, terrified fifteen year old boy who wouldn’t kill a mosquito even if it bit him? It’d be more likely that the person who called would get in trouble than poor Asahi. But Asahi’s anxiety has taken that thought and run with it, likely to the worst possibilities with the most horrific ends. 

“Dance with me,” Kiyoko says, firm and persistent. “I’m too shy to dance with anyone I don’t know.” She knows that making it seem like it benefits her will ease Asahi’s anxiety, and if she can just get him to dance for a little bit, it will stop his obsessive thoughts in their tracks  _ and  _ simultaneously prove the girl who told him that wrong, which is always a win.

“But… But I can’t dance!” Asahi splutters, cheeks going dark red. “I can’t dance and… and… I’m… I’m not into… you… you know… g… girls...”

Kiyoko smiles in surprise,  _ maybe we really do flock together _ , and she grabs Asahi’s hand, gently tugging him toward the music and the lights. “Don’t worry, I don’t like guys and I can’t dance either. Let’s dance terribly together.”

He can’t seem to form the words to argue, and lets Kiyoko pull him onto the dance floor, where they sway and dance awkwardly, but when Asahi bursts out laughing at Kiyoko’s “best move”, she knows she’s done good.


	4. nishinoya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nishinoya causes a scene. As per usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: There's nothing explicit, but there's the threat of sexual assault in this chapter! Again, nothing happens (spoiler: kiyoko and noya save the day) but i would lots rather everyone to stay safe and happy!

Nishinoya’s choice of Karasuno is the spark of many conversations, but not as many as the scene he creates in the hallway, early in the beginning of Kiyoko’s second year of high school. She had watched, wide-eyed and horrified, as the school’s biggest jerk grabbed a girl and got in her bubble without her consent. The poor girl, a first year to the jerk’s third, gaped as the guy twisted her arm behind her back so she couldn’t move, lowering his mouth to her neck.

Kiyoko, motivated by a deep urge to protect the poor girl, is just about to step away to grab an adult, when Nishinoya, fast and powerful, yanks back hard on the guy’s uniform collar, momentarily choking him. The jerk’s focus swings, poor girl forgotten (Kiyoko swooped in to protect her, hugging her close and ensuring she wasn’t hurt) and growls as Nishinoya ducks his punch. 

The jerk swings at him again, but Nishinoya strikes back with a powerful kick straight to the guy’s solar plexus, leaving a dusty shoe-print right on the front of his uniform. 

This, of course, is when the adults swoop in, apprehending  _ Nishinoya _ for starting a fight with another student, and a third-year at that.

Kiyoko realizes then that the best libero in his year is going to get kicked off the volleyball team before he can even properly join, all because he tried to do the right thing. She doesn’t know him, not really, but he wanted to become one of her crows and defended someone who was defenseless and she is not about to watch him take the fall. 

She starts whispering to the girl, trying to pour confidence into her frail, shaking frame, and the girl nods determinedly. “Nishinoya didn’t do anything wrong!” She shouts, surprisingly loud. “That guy-” she points unerringly at the jerk, who is trying to sneak away, “-grabbed me and was trying to kiss me without my consent! Look at my arm!” She pulls up her sleeve, revealing the red, near bruised ring around her wrist from where the jerk grabbed her. “It’s only because Nishinoya and her-” much to Kiyoko’s embarrassment, the first year points to her “-that he didn’t hurt me! Nishinoya only kicked him because that jerk tried to punch him twice! Anyone here could tell you that!”

Most of that is exactly what Kiyoko told her to say, and she sighs in relief when the teachers turn their attentions on the jerk, apologizing to Nishinoya.

Nishinoya approaches her later. “Hey, you’re the volleyball club team manager, right?”

She nods shyly, smiling. “Kiyoko Shimizu.”

“Thanks for earlier, Kiyoko,” he says with a confident smile. “Rika told me you gave her the confidence to stand up for me.”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t do anything. You’re the one who helped her.”

Nishinoya raises an eyebrow cheekily, nudging her with his elbow. “That’s not what she said. She said she was so overwhelmed that when that jerk was finally off of her, she was so scared she thought she might faint. She said you wrapped her in your arms and made sure she was safe and okay. Apparently, it was super grounding for her and really helped her calm down.” 

Kiyoko waves a hand. “I couldn’t have done that if it wasn’t for you, actually taking care of the problem.”

Nishinoya cackles, happy. “Wow, you’re great. If I weren’t so gay, I’d ask you out-” He freezes, as if realizing what he’d said half a moment too late, but when Kiyoko just raises an eyebrow in return, he relaxes again. “Rika asked me out, too. It was really cute, but I had to turn her down. I think she was just asking out of gratitude, anyways.”

“If I weren’t so gay, I might ask you out too,” Kiyoko says quietly with a wink, and Nishinoya laughs harder. “See you at try-outs this afternoon, alright?”

He nods, giving her a thumbs-up. “Sounds good, babe.”

She snorts at the ridiculousness of the platonic nickname as she walks away.


	5. tanaka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka needs some time and Kiyoko is here to ensure he gets it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little short boi :)
> 
> next chapter will have some shippy stuff if you're into that

Tanaka is one of the most powerful people she’s ever met, Kiyoko knows, when she watches him spike for the first time. He’s not particularly big, especially not compared to Asahi, but he’s strong and his mental fortitude is remarkable. 

But when he breaks down, he breaks down hard.

Those who know him know that he just lost his family dog, the dog he’s had since he was little, the dog he’s loved forever. The team is gracious in giving him time and space to grieve, letting him do poorly in practice without punishment and if he sheds a few tears here and there, they don’t say a word, knowing that would embarrass him more. Nishinoya even carries tissues and hands him one whenever need be. Unfortunately, not everyone knows Tanaka, except perhaps as the bald-headed, loud, bright boy he lets them all see. They don’t know that he thinks really hard about a lot of things, that he’s capable of being quiet and soft and warm, that he feels pain just like anyone else.

It’s watching someone give him a hard time about being quiet and somber that Kiyoko gets upset. Tanaka deserves to have the space to feel emotions just as much as anyone else and no one is going to take that away from him, not when he gives so many people the space to be themselves.

“Leave him alone,” she growls pleasantly, forcing a smile she thinks she learned from Tanaka onto her features. “He doesn’t want to talk to you right now, and that’s okay. Don’t take it personally. He doesn’t need to explain himself to you. Back off.”

Seeing as they’re all underclassmen, they listen to her, all looking a little spooked. Kiyoko sits down next to Tanaka, gently holding his hand, rubbing her thumbs over his knuckles. He’s empty and vacant beside her, dark bags under his eyes.

“Thanks,” he mutters eventually, as if only just processing what happened.

“It’ll get easier,” she promises. “It sucks, but it’ll get easier. You’ll miss her forever, but it won’t hurt like this forever.”

He nods, slowly. “I know.”

She nods too, rising and releasing Tanaka’s hand. “If you need someone to talk to, I’m always available. Or even just someone to sit with who won’t ask stupid questions.”

The corner of his mouth kicks up a tick, and she smiles. “I’ll keep you in mind.”


	6. ennoshita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes communication helps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of ennotana for ya :D

Perhaps the most interesting thing about Ennoshita is the way nothing phases him. He’s just… calm. All the time. Kiyoko knows it’s a front, a wall to keep those unworthy out - she can see it in the way he laughs at Tanaka’s crummy jokes, hear it in how he will speak to Asahi and Yamaguchi and Yachi if they are anxious. Ennoshita expects injuries by virtue of existing, though Kiyoko doesn’t know why.

She also doesn’t know why Ennoshita comes to her when he’s sobbing.

It’s after practice one evening; the sun has long set below the horizon. She’s about done cleaning up - even Kageyama and Hinata have left, and Yachi’s waiting for her to walk to the bus stop, when she hears quiet footsteps approach behind her.

She turns, and Ennoshita is waiting. There are already tears welling in his eyes. He’s trembling. She’s never seen him like this, not once. She doesn’t know what to do.

“Can… Can… you… help me?” He whimpers, clearly trying to keep his voice steady and failing miserably. “I… I don’t… know who else to talk to…”

Her heart shatters in a million pieces, and she quickly texts Yachi that something came up, and to leave without her. She steps closer to him, opening her arms so he can collapse into her, sobbing. She wraps him in her arms, mind racing to generate possibilities that would hurt him. People that might have it out for him, classes he’s not doing well in, anything. But for all her thinking, she comes up blank. Ennoshita doesn’t really have enemies of any variety, he’s a pretty well-balanced student, and for what little she knows of his home life, it seems stable. 

So, for now, she lets him cry, knowing sometimes crying is the only solution available.

When he slows to a stop, she makes no move to release him, feeling the way his hands are fisted in her shirt, as if to beg her not to let go. “What happened?” She asks softly.

“It’s stupid,” he whispers back, and she squeezes him in reprimand. That’s not an answer, and even if it’s true, she doesn’t care. “I… I’ve… got this crush? I’ve fallen really… really hard… and… I… I was too late,” he mumbles. “I was trying… to flirt… make my feelings known. I’m not… not good at this and…”

She frowns, though he can’t see it when his nose is buried in her collar, and squeezes again. “Who is it?” Not that she’d play homewrecker, though the thought admittedly crosses her mind briefly, but it’d be easier to help Ennoshita get over his crush if she knew who it was. “And who are they dating?”

“Don’t… don’t judge me,” he stumbles, pulling away as his cheeks grow red-hot.

Kiyoko laughs, the sound soft and gentle. “Don’t worry.”

“Tanaka?”

His voice is tentative and nervous; Kiyoko wonders if she’s the first one he’s ever told. He sounds too scared for this to be common knowledge. “Tanaka’s dating someone?” She says with a start, because though Ennoshita has always been careful, Tanaka wouldn’t know careful if it slapped him upside the head.

“That’s what he told me,” Ennoshita replies, frowning now. “He didn’t tell you?”

Kiyoko shakes her head. “This is the first I’ve heard of it.” Which is strange. Because Tanaka was in a crummy mood all day, and that’s hardly the attitude of someone who’s newly not single. And Tanaka especially would not keep it quiet if he was newly taken.

Ennoshita pulls out his phone, hands trembling as he opens his texts, handing the device over to her to read.

She reads over the conversation. Then she slaps her forehead, once, twice, thrice. She loves the boys on the team, truly loves them, but  _ holy shit they’re stupid _ . She raises her eyes to make sure Ennoshita hasn’t slipped back into a depressive state, before typing out a text on his phone. Ennoshita’s eyes widen and he reaches for his phone, more in a dazed state of confusion than out of actual desperation, but he’s too slow. Kiyoko hits send, shuts the device off, and slips it into Ennoshita’s pocket.

“Don’t look at your phone until you see Tanaka again.” She orders, making sure there’s no way he can misconstrue her words. “Tanaka’s coming to walk you home. Wait for him outside. If I find out you ran, or if Tanaka doesn’t come, I’ll find out and I will kick both of your butts.”

Ennoshita gapes. “ _ What?” _

“You heard me,” she says simply, finishing cleaning up the gym before leaving to go change. “Boys,” she mutters to herself once she’s out of earshot. “Stupid, stupid boys.”

_ (10:30pm) _

_ enno i’m sorry this is over text i was too chicken to tell you in person _

_ (10:32pm) _

_ I have a huge crush on someone. And i am so scared of telling em but i’m gonna do it, okay? _

_ (10:35pm) _

_ they laugh at all my jokes and make me feel powerful and strong and i am so scared but i’ve told them now i’m so scared they won’t feel the same cuz they’re smart and strong and genuine and they are so out of my league i can’t breathe around them cuz i like them so much _

_ (10:45pm) _

_ Chikara? _

_ (11:56pm) _

_ hello? _

Maybe it wasn’t obvious to Ennoshita, but Tanaka only gets weird like that if there’s an underlying message. It’s obvious. The crush is Ennoshita himself, which is why he phrased it all so stupidly, instead of doing the easiest thing and just saying it outright.

_ (8:39pm) _

_ tanaka it’s kiyoko come back to the gym and tell ennoshita what you meant he thinks you’re dating someone else and he’s heartbroken _

Tanaka comes to pick up Ennoshita, which Kiyoko only knows because she took an ungodly amount of time changing, and when she finally exits the gym to lock up, they’re awkwardly staring at her, panting, limbs tangled where Ennoshita has Tanaka pressed up against the gym wall.

Kiyoko smirks. “Use protection.”

Both boys choke on air, separating like they got burned, and Kiyoko walks home feeling rather pleased with herself, all things considered.


	7. narita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Narita and some unwanted attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been a while
> 
> writing is such a finnicky hobby for me :(
> 
> hope you like it anyways!!!

It always seems like Kinoshita and Narita get lumped together for things. They’re two of the three second years that get the least court time, they’re the two that are always together, even in the lineup, they’re the two that are part of the team, and work just as hard as anyone else, but remain average. Not the best, not the worst, just… average. It’s hard to compete with players like Kageyama and Hinata, who run on endless stamina and reservoirs of perseverance and determination. 

But it’s Narita, not Kinoshita, not Tanaka, Ennoshita, nor Nishinoya, who finds himself at the center of attention for a group of girls. Which would normally be the opposite of a problem, but these girls were… intense. He’s anxious, hands twisting in front of him, as he explains that they started out friendly and interesting, but quickly it became apparent they were fighting for him, for his attention, for his free time,  _ all the time _ . He says the only reason they haven’t shown up at practice yet is that he tells them he’s skipped and texts them pictures of him in other locations. 

Kiyoko wrinkles her nose. “These girls are first years?”

He nods. “I didn’t… I didn’t realize they would be like this? I just thought they wanted to be my friends.”

She nods her understanding. “What would they do if you started dating a third year?”

His eyes widen. “They’d be devastated.”

“Okay. We’re dating now.” His eyes widen even more, nearing the size of dinner plates, and Kiyoko rolls her eyes. “Not really, calm down. We’ll “date” until they chill out, then amicably break up. Okay? I’ll walk with you to class tomorrow morning and you can point them out to me. I’m sure Nishinoya and Tanaka will be more than willing to help scare them off.”

It takes three days before they back off, muttering about overprotective and clingy girlfriends and how they could definitely do better. The irony is not lost on either Narita or Kiyoko, and they actually chuckle about it quite a bit later.

Nishinoya and Tanaka are left muttering about how Kiyoko is so much better than other girls. Kiyoko dutifully ignores them.


	8. kinoshita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kinoshita and the fear of public speaking

Kinoshita is okay with being lumped in, most times. He likes making comments from the back, giggling with his friends, with Narita, with Sugawara or Ennoshita. He doesn’t want to be on the bench forever, but for now, it’s okay.

What’s not okay is the way his hands are shaking, his knees might give out, and the way no one is saying anything as he struggles through his speech, written out on notecards in neat handwriting. He’s never been a fan of public speaking - it’s too much pressure and not enough reassurance that he’s doing okay. The more nervous he gets, the more mistakes he makes, and the more mistakes he makes, the more his hands shake so he can’t read the cards, so he makes more mistakes.

Tears prick the back of his eyes as he tries to read out a sentence, and flubs it badly enough that he has to start it again. Then flubs it  _ again _ . And again. Try as he may, he can’t get past the fourth word in the sentence without screwing it up. 

On his fifth attempt of the same sentence, he decides he doesn’t care about his grade, about this class, about anything. His chest is being crushed and his throat is raw and tight. Tears stream down his cheeks as he flees the classroom just running without looking back. He doesn’t care that his bag with his books and lunch are still sitting at his desk, he doesn't care that the teacher will be upset. 

He just wants to breathe.

He just wants to  _ breathe _ .

Eventually, he rounds a corner and his knees give out from underneath him, and he falls. He huddles into a corner, shivering as he cries. Mentally, he’s trying to calculate if he can still pass the class if he gets a zero on the presentation, or if the teacher will let him try again. He hopes so.

“Kinoshita?”

He looks up in fear, only relaxing a tiny bit when he recognizes Kiyoko standing there. She sits down next to him before he can say anything.

“Anxiety attack?” She asks gently.

“Bad… Bad speech,” he says, which doesn’t really explain why he’s upset, but Kiyoko seems to understand. She knocks her shoulder into his.

“Public speaking is my biggest fear,” she sighs. “I know how you feel. I think I failed every speech my second year. I actually had a panic attack after one of them and they had to call the nurse. The most important thing to remember is that you have to breathe. If it means your speech is awkwardly syncopated and slow, so be it. When you don’t breathe, your whole body panics and stops listening to you. That’s when you make mistakes. That’s when you lose control.”

Kinoshita nods. That… That makes sense. “Do… Do you… do you breathe during… you know...?”

She laughs. “No, not during speeches. I talk a big game, but I still struggle with it. Even just talking to the team makes my heart race, and you guys are my friends. I have to actively write reminders on my notes to breathe and blink and adjust my stance.”

“Really?” The thought had never occurred to him. “You write reminders?”

She nods, smile warm. “It helps, sometimes. It’s like someone else is telling you to do it, so you do it. You know?” She pushes her glasses up on her nose. “It gets easier, though, the more you do it. The more you practice breathing when you’re stressed and scared, the more public speaking you do, it all helps. Practice makes better practice.”

Kinoshita shivers, but loosens his arms from where they are wrapped around his knees. “I… I got about half-way through my speech and… and I ran away. They’re probably looking for me. I don’t want to go back.”

Kiyoko hums her understanding, but doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “Talk to your teacher, okay? Sometimes, if you just communicate, they’re willing to work with you. Especially since you’re a good student with other assignments and classes. Maybe they’ll let you give the speech to just them, or try again another day. Either way, I know you’ll get it right, okay? Breathe and remember you’re not alone. There’s a  _ lot _ of people who are scared of public speaking. Your friends aren’t judging you, your classmates aren’t judging you, and this is a speech that will not matter in the future, okay?”

He nods again. Despite his anxiety, he does feel… better. A little more stable. A little more secure. “Thanks, Kiyoko… I’m sorry I interrupted your day.”

She shakes her head firmly, offering him a hand up. “I’m always open to talk if you want someone to talk to, Hisashi. Always. You’re not alone.”

He gets to redo his presentation.

He messes up the redo a few times too, but the written and highlighted reminders to slow down and breathe help him get through to the end. And, of course, Kiyoko’s reminders that the people who matter don’t care about his public speaking ability help too.


	9. kageyama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama wants cupcakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so... uh...
> 
> it's been eight months... do yall remember this fic??
> 
> i'm sorry. i have no excuse.
> 
> but here's a new chapter?

Kageyama Tobio does not ask for help. If it weren’t for Hinata, pressing him forward and forcing him to consider his options, he might never have approached Kiyoko at all. Hinata, oddly enough, despite being annoying and loud and almost painfully optimistic, has been a good influence.

He does not think about that too hard. 

Regardless, he stands stock-still as he waits for Kiyoko to notice him. The other team members are out refilling water bottles and generally taking a break, and this question won’t take more than a moment.

Kiyoko turns, jumping when she sees him. A hand over her heart, she quietly asks, “What’s wrong, Kageyama?”

He stumbles, fists clenching at his sides. “I don’t know how to bake,” he finally grinds out. “I… I tried following a video, but I got lost and… and I didn’t understand and they… they weren’t specific enough…”

She blinks. “You want  _ me  _ to help you learn to bake?”

He nods. “Yachi said you’re really good at it. She said she was learning how to bake from you too.” He is  _ slightly _ less nervous now, less stiff.

“Yachi exaggerates,” Kiyoko smiles. “I’m not that good at baking, I just like to try different things. She just says I’m good because I only show her pictures of my successes. I have  _ lots _ of failures that she doesn’t see, because I’m embarrassed by them.”

“Oh.” His expression falls. “Okay.” He moves to walk away.

“I’d be happy to teach you what I know, though!” She says quickly, smiling just a little. “You’re welcome to come over to my house this weekend, and we can bake. What are you trying to make?”

“Cupcakes? With orange frosting?”

She smiles reassuringly. “Come Saturday morning, okay?”

“I don’t know where you live.”

Her eyes widen, before she breaks out giggling. “I forgot you’re not like Tanaka and Nishinoya. They follow me home at least once a week to make sure I’m safe.” She pulls out her phone and texts him an address. They had exchanged numbers at the beginning of the school year, so they could have a group chat to send reminders about practice times, jersey colors, and the like.

Kiyoko decides, once she sees the (extremely) rough sketch of what Kageyama is shooting for - ten vanilla cupcakes with bright orange frosting - that the other third years are never going to believe her when she tells them about this.

She may or may not sneak pictures of Kageyama’s sketches, as well as Kageyama in one of her father’s aprons. 

The baking, however, goes without a hitch. Sure, Kageyama is stiff and awkward, and doesn’t always know when she’s kidding, but he’s oddly sweet without anyone to spark an argument. When her parents get home, he is polite in conversation, though does not hold back from telling them, without any room for doubt, that he and Kiyoko are  _ not _ dating, have never dated, and never will date.

He even goes so far to tell them that while Kiyoko is very nice and he appreciates the work she does for the volleyball club, she is  _ not _ his type and that is not likely to change.

Kiyoko can’t help but giggle at the looks on her parents’ faces. It’s not often a teenage boy shuts down their questions about possible attraction to their daughter so quickly, so succinctly. It’s kind of refreshing. Any time any of the other third years are over, she has to sit through interrogation after lecture after interrogation once they leave as her parents try to figure out which one of them she plans to marry, but she senses that will not be a problem with Kageyama.

By the time Kageyama is ready to leave, he has a plate of ten perfect (Kageyama would accept nothing less - she’s got a whole pan of orange monstrosity rejects) cupcakes.

He thanks her, in that stiff, uncomfortable way of his, then goes on his way.

She smiles as he walks away.


End file.
